Sex and Simulation

My uncle Nigel had two Cadillacs in his garage that never actually ran. He always intended to get them road-worthy, but I never saw them outside of his garage. Uncle Nigel was a tinkerer, and gifted with most things mechanical and electronic--he even built a stereo system for my dad, including the speaker housing. My fondest memories of Uncle Nigel involve my accompanying him to stores where they had tube testers. You inserted the tube into the device, and it told you whether it was "live" or not. The words "Cadillac" and "tube" are forever associated in my mind with Uncle Nigel.

The preceding paragraph was a very roundabout way to write about my discovery of this ad for Cadillac starring Bob Dylan on Youtube. All I can say is, "Cadillac and Bob Dylan? Brilliantly ironic." 'Nuff said.

This discovery led me to an ad Joan Jett (yes, Joan Jett) did for the same Cadillac ad campaign, which then led me to her seminal (pun totally intended) video for "I Love Rock n' Roll". Did anyone ever look better in red leather? She is totally in your face as she approaches her object of desire and screeches "yow!" at then end of each refrain. Yow, indeed. She's hot and there isn't an ounce of doubt or vulnerability in her performance. Having a guitar slung across your hips definitely helps.

Fast forward about 20 years, and you have this Britney Spears remake. I know Britney is gone, finished, washed-up, whatever, but the contrast between the two videos is remarkable. First, Britney's only object of desire is...the absence of an object of desire.  There is no 17 year-old boytoy. The video pays homage to old Duran Duran and Robert Palmer videos by having Britney crawl on all fours towards an amp cable dripping with...fluid. She fellates a microphone and pole dances with the best of them, although sans pole. Closeups of midriff, pouty lips, and flingy hair complete the video. As far as I know, Britney goes home so she can be alone with some sound equipment.

Joan was sex, all the best gnarly bits, sure of its capacity to be an end in itself (and to look fabulous in red leather). Britney was double-barreled simulation, revealing pure, unadulterated nothing (dare I say "lack").

As much as I miss Joan, though, I will never buy a Cadillac. R.I.P. Uncle Nigel.

Comments

[Zura]

I have to agree with your assessment, here. The Britney video is dead horrible and you're right, what's with the absence of the hot young 17 yearold boytoy? All it was was midriff, hair, midriff, microphone fellatio, bad lipgloss, midriff and gratuitous motorcycle posing.

Whereas with Joan Jett, you *know* she's going home with the boytoy. :)

[rebel]

indeed...morality wrapped in a depiction of sex that is all surface and lacking (icky) fluids. yet, the spears girls are pros at getting sperminated. the irony ;)